Tackling Back to School Anxiety
It’s that time of year again - back to school! Stores that have already started (or maybe even finished) their sale for supplies are an unwanted reminder that Summer Vacation is sadly coming to an end and the First Day of School is fast approaching. This time of year can bring up a lot of feelings – for teens with anxiety, this can mean strong reactions about transitioning back to a school setting.
Transitions are stressful for everyone and returning to school can be especially difficult for teens with anxiety. I know that for me, I would start to spiral about all these hypothetical questions when I would think about going back to school again:
Will I get lost trying to find my way to class?
Will I still have classes with any of my friends?
What do I do if something bad does happen?
Just talking about it brings up some of those old feelings for me; so know that you aren’t alone if you feel this way too. I like to think about anxiety as an overactive survival mechanism - anxiety is trying its best to tell you something in the best way it knows how, through the unique lens of you - your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and experiences. It can feel overwhelming to try and comb through all that stimuli for some kind of message or meaning. What I like to recommend is taking a deep breath, checking in with yourself, and then asking ‘what might my anxiety be trying to tell me right now?’
To help model what that process might look like, I’m going to break down each of the questions I asked earlier into Anxious Thought, Reflective Question, and Potential Feelings.
AT: Will I get lost trying to find my way to class?
RQ: What is my anxiety trying to tell me right now?
PF: I’m concerned about being late to class. I’m afraid to walk into class late. I feel panicked about receiving unwanted attention. I’m overwhelmed about potentially getting into trouble.
AT: Will I still have classes with any of my friends?
RQ: What is my anxiety trying to tell me right now?
PF: I’m afraid I will be alone. I’m stressed about talking to people I don’t know. I’m terrified of needing to make new friends.
AT: What do I do if something bad does happen?
RQ: What is my anxiety trying to tell me right now?
PF: I’m scared of being embarrassed in front of everyone. I’m insecure about how I present myself. I’m anticipating things will go wrong so when they do I’ll be prepared.
Right about now, you are probably wondering ‘well what do I do now that I have these answers?’ First off, take another deep breath! Let’s also remind ourselves that we’ve done this before, we have base layers to build upon, and (hopefully) we want to do things differently this time. After that and once our activation state has gone down, we can move into brainstorming ways to keep ourselves safe and connected. Some potential recommendations for this step could be:
Check-in with yourself when feelings of anxiety start
Engage in mindful self-care activities
Reach out to your support system and ask for help
Practice grounding techniques like deep breathing
Be compassionate when things get hard
Remember that you are always learning and growth takes time
I also think it’s important to acknowledge that, as much as we would like, we cannot prepare for everything that could happen and even the best solutions can sometimes fall short - so it is important that we remember to hold self-compassion for not only ourselves but also our anxiety. You are both trying your best and just noticing that can be enough to start the spark towards change.
If any of this resonates with you, reach out and we can explore these feelings more in therapy together.
