Surviving the Holidays

As a kid, I loved the holidays. I have a lot of nostalgia from days gone by where we’d have huge extended family get togethers. Of course, I had the luxury of not being aware of family drama that was brewing behind the scenes.

As I became an adult, I started to feel a letdown around the end of the year. It didn’t feel as magical once I became more aware of and subject to juggling family expectations and dodging drama. Then it doubled once I was in a committed relationship. There was a lot of pressure suddenly about how I had to spend my money, time and energy that sucked a lot of fun out of the holidays.

If we come from families where boundaries are not that clear or respected and communication isn’t great, navigating the holidays can be exhausting and maybe even a little miserable.

Maybe this is your first holiday season going home since leaving for college and you’re noticing you’re a little anxious or reluctant. There isn’t a clear or obvious transition into being an adult family member. Being away for awhile on your own changes your perspective but maybe your family hasn’t had time to catch up in that way yet. It can be hard to say “I can’t make it” especially if it kicks of a guilty campaign or, worse, is ignored. We can easily feel trapped and anxious (rightly so!) and so out of step with the spirit of the season.

But I know from experience it is possible to gain back a sense of empowerment. First of all, it helps to know this isn’t a one-off experience, that other people also struggle to navigate this time of year gracefully. Second, it is a great opportunity to practice prioritizing our needs at least as much as every one else’s. That can come in the form of setting limits or saying no.

Our Holiday Survival Support Group is a great place to connect with other people figuring out how to get through the holidays with their sanity and learn some better communication and boundary setting skills. Learn more and sign up here before Oct 30th.